Category Archives: Uncategorized

Uncategorized

Take Out the Trash

Here we are again, in the season of graduations and weddings, with a fresh new crop of young people who find themselves embarking on a whole new foreign world.

While I am certainly no expert, allow me the chance to impart a single suggestion on what you are about to face: take out your trash.

elephant and dog sit under the rain

Certain studies are showing that we’re not quite as prepared and ready as we think we are for these important life steps of college, jobs and marriages.

And it is not for the reason – or reasons – you may think, like the standard preparation for classes or a job. No, on the contrary, we’re fairly well educated and well trained.

The problem is, we just don’t communicate very well.

Last year, 60 percent of employers surveyed by Workforce Solutions Group said that applicants lacked communication and interpersonal skills – a 10 percent increase in just two years’ time. Employers want people who can plan, organize and prioritize, but also be team players and problem solvers.

But how can we be problem solvers in our jobs if we can’t solve the problems in our personal lives? It is there where our problem solving skills are fortified, or in most cases, not.

We all seem to have a cluster of friendships and relationships that sit awkwardly unresolved because we don’t address the problems that put them in that state.

It is a choice to be passive in this regard. Lack of action is still an action. We cannot do well until we do better.

This increasingly unsocial society, where we freely state in text – whether typed in e-mail, text or on a social media screen – what we are not willing to say, or would never say, in person is the single biggest societal issue we face. And it is clearly one that permeates all aspects of our lives.

Communication is the backbone to everything we can hope to do in our lives. It is what makes us human, what makes us emote. If we pull back from those things, the only thing we’re left with is the direction we’re taking now: a society of people who cannot communicate with each other in more than 140 characters and emoji’s.

Humanity needs a better human relations plan.

So try this: picture your life as a series of trash cans of varying sizes. Each trash can represents something in your life: relationships, friendships, work, fitness, health, and so on. In each situation, you are willing to put up with so much in order to keep it going.

Trashcans

With friends, you will swallow a certain level of perceived “wrongdoing” on the other side’s behalf. An unreturned phone call is forgivable, yet you still feel slighted, so it goes into the metaphorical trash can. A dis from the same friend, a betrayal, not being invited to something, a missed birthday, those all pile up until one day, they throw something somewhat meaningless onto the pile – a banana peel let’s say – and now, well, you’ve had it.

We do this with virtually everything in life. We’ll put up with so much at work and stay until the trash can is full. The trash cans might vary in size, as we’re more willing to forgive our spouse than say, a co-worker. But in relative terms, we’ll keep plugging away to maintain whatever is left of that particular relationship until that final banana peel causes the trash can to spill over and cause our crazy to come streaming out, raw, emotional and unfiltered.

The difference, of course, with relationships and friendships is that there is a real person on the other side, probably with their own can of “trash” you don’t even realize you threw away on them.

And it is never really about that last banana peel. It was about the collection of items that filled up the can before it.

It was about the fact that neither of you really ever emptied the trash. You didn’t talk through it.

Why? Because you were just too busy? Because life got in the way? Because it just didn’t matter?

Perhaps it is because you didn’t think it mattered much to you at the time. Well, clearly you never fully pulled an Elsa and just “let it go.” Or maybe it is because you thought that saying something at the time about it might hurt their feelings.

But that all that unspoken, undiscussed, unresolved trash does build up until one of you – or both – determines the damage done, the trash is full and now it truly just isn’t worth carrying around all those heaping, stinky bags.

Look, this human interaction stuff isn’t easy – that’s why so many friendships, marriages and relationships fail.

We are all individuals with different backgrounds, upbringing, history, emotions, experiences and interests. More often than not, we forget to respect those awesome nuances that make us unique.

Maybe we just need to quit trying to force everyone to see our side or agree with us.

Too much time is wasted spinning our wheels trying to convince cyber friends that we are perfect. Our hair isn’t perfect, our clothes are not perfect. Our bodies are not perfect. Our families and homes and cars, they are not perfect. And they do not make us, us. They do not accurately represent who we are. On the contrary, how we treat each other does best represent who we are.

I tend to believe that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Some come and go and are a mere footnote in the index of your Book of Life. Not every relationship and friendship is worth saving or meant to be saved.

Then again, you’ll go through life pretty lonely without investing in others, because I’ve found it means a whole lot more to share it with those who matter, the ones that care, that root for you to win, that will share your sorrow.

If you’ve found someone or someones that somehow or another chose to interact with you and your own brand of weirdness, try a little harder to keep that proverbial trash can less than full.

The question is simple, then. Is it worth it? Whether you’ve been friends for 40 years or 4 months, it meant something to both of you at some point no matter when or how you met.

Maybe it was on a school playground in kindergarten.

Maybe it was because of a shared interest or activity.

Maybe it was an attraction or a dance or a song or by proximity.

But we all managed to make some friends. The trick is keeping them. And the best way to do it is simple.

Just take out the trash every once in a while.

Don’t make a landfill of your life.

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American culture, Life, Philosophy, Uncategorized

Drunk America

There is a hilarious recurring character on Saturday Night Live called “Drunk Uncle” that shows up from time to time on Weekend Update. Bobby Moynihan delightfully portrays the classic embodiment of every family member we distance ourselves from at holiday gatherings, who might be slightly drunk, slightly racially biased or worse, both.

At least, that was the starting point for the concept of the character. In more recent years and appearances, really Drunk Uncle has become the curmudgeon everyman, sarcastically and unapologetically pointing out how different the world has become through technology. His sweater and jacket combo are the same as his plight: the world kind of sucks right now.

Drunk Uncle – Graduation

As funny as these skits are, it is even funnier that most people laugh at the jokes, then turn around and find themselves doing many of the same things Drunk Uncle is condemning. Whether it is the off-handed slurs or the over-use of technology to promote oneself, we should be laughing at ourselves.

The problem is, we are so narcissistic, we don’t get that we are the punchline.

America is running afoul and we, as citizens, are too concerned with our own image and personal public relations campaign to notice. A misstep and we simply say we’re being individuals. We write off most things by throwing out catchy phrases, as pointed out in this New York Times piece.

“You do you”? “It is what it is”? “Keeping in real”? What the heck does any of that even mean, anyway? Of course you are doing you, who else would you be doing? Wouldn’t you doing someone else just be an imposter? It certainly is not what it is not. And why is there a strong need to keep things real? When did things become fake that we had to tell people we are keeping our feet on the ground?

We are always doing us. Sometimes it’s angry you, depressed you, happy you, volatile you, sarcastic you, hurt you, compassionate you, betrayed you, joyful you, religious you, feisty you, helpful you or spiteful you, but it’s always you.

Oh, but we like to pretend. We enjoy putting on the show of who we want the world to think we are. From trolling comment sections, Facebook posts and Twitter feeds, we’re all about that face.

Being insensitive, being narcissistic, being flat-out self-centered is not a license to write off your actions with “h8trs gonna h8!” This has wormed its way into society like a catchy pop song – oh, wait, it was a catchy pop song.

No, we’re not gonna hate.

We’re not allowed to even remotely look like we’re the eighth cousin, twice removed from hate. Then again, should you slightly, distantly look like you’re heading toward a path of hate, Haterade will rain down in buckets like you just won the national championship of hate.

Just please don’t look at the skeletons in our closet, right? Nothing to see here, move along! You do you, right?

(I did learn, it’s OK, however, to talk about hate in the past tense, as long as it involves Christian Laettner.)

Americans always seem ready and willing to stand and fight injustice – right after we’ve been shown just how bad it is by someone else, all the while ignoring our own issues and faults.

Anyone who tries to take away equality, or slightly resembles to treat different groups without equality is going to see a whole lot of what Indiana saw this past week (and what it will continue to see if something isn’t changed).

indiana law

It makes very little difference any more what is real or true about the bill that was passed, all that matters now is the fallout. The state is in the midst of a PR nightmare, one that has already been lost. The window has closed, the verdict sealed.

The world of social media has tried Indiana, it’s legislators, it’s governor, it’s people and passed down its verdict – there is no stopping the court of public opinion. Forget arguing that you can inform the uninformed, or “convince” anyone anything different than what they’ve already heard and believed.

The media dominates, writes the story, and controls the narrative. It is completely naïve to think otherwise. And the power of the medium allows for quick dissemination of a whole truckload of judgement, condemnation and reaction – and reaction to the reaction of a reaction.

Supporters say the bill is to defend religious freedom, opponents claim the law discriminates. We’ll never truly know.

It’s possibly safest to assume that both sides are correct. It’s always somewhere in the middle – a place we refuse to go or even visit. Compromise is one of the hardest places to find and it’s not labeled on any map. Siri can’t help you. Compromise does not allow it’s picture to be taken. It has too much humility to pose for a selfie, too much dignity to be reduced to a hashtag.

And this is why it eludes us.

We all have a sphere of influence; we just greatly misconstrue what to do with it. Social media allows you to build and sell your brand. Every post you make, every favorite, like, share and retweet.

Now, this may or may not be who you actually are – but that does not really matter. It is what you show the world you are. You are marketing you, and you build your brand.

If you want to change the world, hate won’t beat out hate. Shaming others won’t do it either. You cannot change the world, you can really only change your world – and by doing so, through your sphere of influence, the world around slowly changes over time.

So many people tell us of the ills of society (just check your news feed).  They will complain (check your news feed). They will condemn others who do not think and act as they do (maybe you should check your news feed). They will tell you that you are, in fact, wrong (you might find examples in your news feed). Now how many times when someone told you that you were wrong did it actually change your mind? (Bet it’s not in your news feed.)

I’ll venture a guess: Zero.

The message is half as important as the messenger.

Throughout history, powerful orators – great messengers who would no doubt come up with far better handles and hashtags – have influenced mass amounts of people to do really great things.

They have also persuaded entire populations to do really dumb things, terrible or horrific things.

The difference between disagreeing and intolerance is a thin line, and we are unaware that we have crossed it until it is too late. The same holds true then in how we conduct ourselves with others in person.

Life cannot be done as it is on social media. It is not a hashtag. Some of this stuff is real and important and needs to be treated as such.

Intolerance? Hatred? Unwilling to compromise?

Americans drunk on ego?

That’s not you?

Hopefully, that’s not anybody.

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Bill Simmons, ESPN, Media, Uncategorized

Bye, Bye Byline

You know that old saying about opinions and a certain body part that ends with the punch line “everybody has ‘em?” Well, if the mega media conglomerates continue to silence the voices in writing, pretty soon, only one of those will still be true.

Media has gotten so big, so interconnected, columnists are a dying breed. Perhaps this is just the natural progression of things. First, it was technology impacting media and the death of the traditional newspaper. Next, the 24-hour news cycle and social media have reduced it to a sound bite.

And now, here we are toeing in dangerous, muddied waters were media, journalism, columnists and brands are all hanging out together around the water cooler.

For those who follow sports, writing and media, perhaps you are well aware of the recent events surrounding ESPN’s suspension of popular sports columnist Bill Simmons. If you are not, well, you can catch up by reading this or simply doing a Google search.

The short of it is that Simmons, who founded Grantland.com, and has been one of ESPN’s most popular writers for the past dozen years, was suspended in late September following a podcast where he called NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell a liar in regard to details and facts that led to the Ray Rice suspension.

Simmons taunted ESPN to reprimand him and got three weeks of what he was looking for.

No matter what you think of Simmons, as a writer or as a media figure, what is clearly evident is that this is his “Custer” moment. He’s taking a stand against something he feels is extremely out of sync in the world of media. It got worse on Thursday, when ESPN Radio’s popular morning show, Mike & Mike, played a snippet of a sound bite where Simmons critiqued LeBron James – to which one of the hosts of the show blasted Simmons for, and took a personal shot at Simmons over perceived headline grabbing.

Naturally, Simmons responded by going nuclear on Mike & Mike via Twitter.

Simmons Tweets

This is not the first catfight between “talent” at ESPN – nor will it be the last. But the last six weeks have brought into clear focus what is not only a growing issue in all forms of media, but especially in sports.

ESPN has serious issues to confront behind the scenes right now, and they have very little to do with Bill Simmons. The crossfire happening across platforms and brands happens all the time – and is wildly disconcerting. If you continually mock and belittle your co-workers, you both lose. The audience doesn’t know who to trust and become uncomfortable with the situation and will turn elsewhere for less hysterics.

The Worldwide Leader in Sports cannot cover sports as they should, in large part due to the behemoth brand that is “ESPN” – and perhaps most concerning – due to its massive TV rights contracts with the NBA, NFL and Major League Baseball.

For a long time, these moments have been coming: How do you completely cover a news story or an event if the entity you are covering in said story is also your meal ticket – sorry, “corporate partner”? ESPN pays for the rights to cover these games and find it difficult to dive too deep into sensitive issues and topics for fear they will lose that right down the road.

This is not just an ESPN problem – but as the biggest sports industry media conglomerate, it is the most easily detectable. Whether or not Simmons has the right to say Roger Goodell is a liar should never be in question, but it is because the ESPN brand is in bed with the NFL and the NFL just cannot be questioned like that from its partners.

And this is the same reason why no one can take the NFL Network seriously – it is merely a mouthpiece for the league to package the product and show highlights and retain some money by keeping viewers on their league channel.

The second component of this issue is how poorly we label journalism, reporting and writing in the current age.

Writing is a creative art form, and most other writers I know treat it as such. Opinion based columns are just that – based on someone’s opinion. While there are obligations to writing factual evidence in support of your opinion – an argument, really – it is not to be taken as journalistic reporting of events. And most people know the difference.

The ESPN Ombudsman wrote about this earlier this week, and frankly, I’m not convinced this person understands it either.

(Note: The Ombudsman is an appointed official who investigates complaints against maladministration, in this case, media and journalism.)

Agreeing that Simmons had not met “journalistic obligations” in providing sufficient proof that Goodell was a liar, the ESPN Ombudsman counters those like me who put Simmons in a different category by claiming that “Simmons sometimes acts like a journalist, or at the least seems to want to be taken seriously.”

Is that itself not a potshot from an unbiased appointed official? And further, am I right in taking this to mean that you cannot be an opinion columnist, a jokester or a podcast host and be taken seriously? What about that kind of writing and media means you are a farce in the eyes of the journalism world? Reporting the facts and only the facts would leave many others at ESPN – in print, radio and television – suspended to the point they might not have enough talent to do a show some days.

How do you prove someone a liar, anyway? It is the ultimate he said/she said. People struggle with this in a court of law, let alone a court of public opinion. Many would argue we still do not know all the facts on the Ray Rice situation and subsequent suspension scandal – partly because the NFL has contradicted itself, as well as having other entities in the situation dispute their side of the story.

Would the Ombudsman – or anyone else – have had a problem with the NFL calling the security officials in charge of the tape who claimed they sent it to the NFL liars? They essentially did. But the now-closed Casino didn’t have a television contract with ESPN or the NFL, so who cares about their integrity and side of the story, right? Has anyone come out and vigorously defended Goodell or shown proof that he’s not lying? If so, I must have missed it.

House rules do apply, except that the mansion of ESPN is not the journalistic beacon of integrity to begin with, so their house rules are painted with a heavy coat of bias as well. Should I not take them seriously because they market themselves so heavily?

Better still: how many “Rules of Journalism” were broken during the NBA Free Agency period? Do these sacred rules include quoting unnamed sources which turn out to be completely wrong? No one knew anything, but everyone knew something when it came to where LeBron James was going to choose to play basketball. ESPN printed many of these “rumors” on their website, discussed them at length on the airwaves. No one was suspended or reprimanded or blasted cross-brand for that. No one issued an apology weeks later when it was clear that half of what we heard the first 10 days of July was a mixture of gossip, rumor and lies.

The expectation that Simmons should show journalistic integrity is a farce for that reason and an even more important one: Simmons is not a reporter or a journalist. Just read anything he has written since 2000 – a conglomeration of jokes, analogies, pop culture references and random opinions. It is not journalism, nor was it ever intended to be. He’s no different than Rush Limbaugh or anyone else in that sub-category of media. He’s also not Walter Cronkite.

As the Ombudsman himself writes, “Simmons is a columnist paid for opinions, not a reporter paid to dig up facts.” Well, Simmons opinion was that Roger Goodell is a liar and that LeBron James is not looking like himself early this NBA season. While I personally wouldn’t put up quite the fight Simmons is – there is a bit of grandstanding taking place on his part – how can anyone determine his opinion is right or wrong, since by definition, it’s an opinion?

Some – like the Ombudsman – refer to this as accusatory or slander. That’s stretching those definitions for effect just a bit. There’s at the very least minor pause that can be given to the notion that Goodell was lying about seeing the tape based on what we’ve heard and read up to this point.

It is tough to condone the manner and irreverence of Simmons in these situations, but that was never the point.

We’re confusing what reporting, journalism and writing are. There are subgenres and shades of gray within the media world – and we’re forced to deal with most of them. But you cannot stop people or forbid them from sharing what they are being paid to do.

If this makes your brain hurt, welcome to the club, but more importantly, welcome to the future.

We’ve entered a mysterious world where something is essentially owned by a group that owns four other things that are not all that connected, but treading lightly is required all the same. Sticking with ESPN here: Disney owns Marvel, ABC, ESPN and Grantland – and must identify it as being so.

We chuckle when we think of Big Brother, but this is happening, in chunks and pieces, in different areas of our society. This is just one component, and anyone – like the ESPN Ombudsman – who suggests we simply all need to evolve is one of those already lost to the media machine.

Evolving would be recognizing the various and diverse kinds of writing and journalism that make up the media now, not ordering all good soldiers to fall into line with what the company  – or its partners want.

If that is truly the way we are headed, I fear for our creative writing genre in media.

Soon, even the byline will fade to the mind-numbing “Wire Report,” as if some lifeless droid concocted the cold, hard facts and presented them as such, sans opinion.

And that will truly be a sad day.

If you disagree, call me a liar.

I, for one, will not demand your evidence to the contrary.

 

 

[Writer/Editor/Blogger/Site Manager Note: For clarification purposes, this was an opinion piece and in no way, despite fancy links and evidence, should be considered journalism.]

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American culture, money, Uncategorized

The Power of Paper

In America, we are defined by action in virtually everything we do. From how we produce at work to how much we do in our spare time, we attempt to let our actions speak louder than our words.

So what does it say about us that a record number of people are choosing to not get married? Further, what does it say about us that the primary reason for this action – or inaction – is due to financial concerns?

It says that while seeking financial windfalls, we have become morally bankrupt in America.

dollar-steps-money-marriage-wedding-bride-groom-bill

This is not a religious soapbox, nor one about the sanctity of marriage. And this certainly is not a statement on who can or should get married.Earlier this week, The Pew Research Center released a report on the decline of marriage in the United States. A record 1 in 5 Americans, aged 25 or older, have never been married – up from 1 in 10 in 1960.

The numbers are further connected by race and gender: men are less likely than women to get married, African-Americans less likely than Hispanics. Education plays in, too, as does employment. A recent survey showed that 78 percent of women polled said it would be “very important” for their prospective spouse to have a steady job.

By 2030, researchers estimate that a 25 percent of 45-t0 54-year olds will never have been married, up from 14 percent right now.

Some may write this off to a weak economy or a recession. Others may reason that because divorce rates are high – and have been for decades – a smarter generation of Americans is emerging that logically wants to make sure all their ducks are in a row and they are safe before they wed. They wish to not make the same mistakes as their ancestors and live a life free of financial stress. In fact, most reports suggest the decision to not marry is in one way or another often tied back to finances.

This fear of financial worry is another ticking time bomb in our current societal and culture implosion.

Our obsession with these numbers, of retirement, of financial freedom, our houses, cars and vacations: do we not understand they are meaningless without someone – or someones – to share it all with?

Humans have written books and produced art for centuries portraying that companionship and love are the true meaning of life. And we are slowly eradicating that by narrowing the human existence down to gross total sums of that sweet paper.

Do we not understand that individually and collectively, we determine all forms of value?

In high school, I had an awesome history teacher who gave an incredible example one day. In explaining how fragile the global economy is, he pulled out a $20 bill.

“All you need to do to completely collapse the infrastructure of any economy is get enough people to agree that this paper in my hand does not actually hold any real value,” he explained. “You see, we’ve all accepted that this is worth twenty dollars, but the paper itself is worthless. It only holds value because we accept the idea that it does. It’s merely a method of exchanging goods and services.”

The teacher went on to explain how we begin this process at a young age, trading a turkey on rye for a PB&J on wheat in the school cafeteria. Each party accepted that the trade was fair and held equal value. Long ago, this trader mentality is how we survived. Furs were traded for grains and so on.

He then ripped the $20 bill up into little pieces, letting it fall like confetti to the ground.

“The moment that any society decides the paper holds no value to them anymore, then the value agreement is broken.”

It could be argued, somewhere along the way, we got lazy and invented a system that would allow others to do the work and we would pay them for services in a standardized, official form.

We perfected this system by then equating time to money, which is really like equating apples to oranges. In essence, we are paid for our time to do and make things others do not in order to purchase things from others that we either don’t do or do not make. One could argue that it is a time saver. But if we’re trading our time anyway, what’s the difference?

While I’m not suggesting ripping up all of your money and proclaiming it has no value (I’m not a barbarian), I am urging us to stop equating apples to oranges. Is money a factor in the world we live in? Of course. Should it be the only one? Never.

We set the market on everything in this world, everything is supply and demand. The minute we stop caring about something, its value drops. We have the power on value, and we’ve had it all along.

We are the ones that buy the gas, the milk, the bread. We’ve deemed these essential to our survival. On the other side of that action, we buy the gossip, the music and movies, the drama of the NFL, the crisis of Apple iPhones bending, politics and the like. Our message is that these things are also essential to us because our actions tell us as much.

The message now, it appears, is that value rules over valuable. Money is more essential than people and relationships, that working together with someone to create a shared profit in the future, one that includes money, but is not of it is just not worth it.

sunset handsMaybe it is just me. From practically the moment I met my wife, I felt a pull that was nearly divine. In a short amount of time, I knew that I needed this woman in my life. I didn’t know exactly what that meant – I couldn’t. I didn’t know how we’d support each other, or a family, in six months, let alone six years – or 60 years.

And that was entirely the point.

I didn’t need to know, because I wanted to try; because all I really needed, was her.

To this writer, at least, marriage isn’t about a solid, well-planned, financial future. It is simply about two people who choose to take on the randomness of the world, its roller coaster ride, as a team – and the emotional, spiritual and physical connection you get from the journey. No amount of monetary value can be placed on that, nor would I accept it if someone tried.

Some do not want to get married, others who do or are already married may not make it ‘til death do them part. It is naïve in America to think that other factors are not at play. It may not always work. I had a conversation with a close, single friend about this very thing, asking him if money would be the primary factor in him choosing to marry someone or not.

“It wouldn’t be the factor, but it would be a factor,” he said.

Fair enough. Money – or lack thereof – can certainly ruin a marriage. But this piece is about the fact we’re increasingly unwilling to even risk getting to the part where we argue with our spouse over money, spending and bills, become bitter and lose the love. This is about the supposedly sweet, gooey part at the beginning. We’re putting the money before that part all together, which means financial planning has replaced the exciting butterflies of falling in love.

It’s a personal decision, but I cannot help but wonder if all that planning for the future will be a future alone, one where we might sacrifice an emotional and physical connection with someone in order to have a larger figure in our bank account. It is a false sense of security in a world where you can never really be financially secure.  The money will come and go. And when you leave, you leave with nothing except what you gave and experienced with others.

Will people remember your bank account figures or how much you paid off in student loans before getting married when your time to go comes? Do we remember that bill from four years ago that had us stressed out? Or who the bill was even from?

It is amazing how much power we’ve given that sweet paper.

I only caution us to find a balance, to be careful. This collective cultural decision to wait for marriage until financially stable means we’re willing to be alone, which ties in closely with the rise of social media.

We’re alone, but we’re pretending to be connected with people. We’re virtually social, we’re virtually getting married. One could argue we’re virtually human. Shakespeare would get laughed out of the room now; Ralph Waldo Emerson, Yeats, Frost, all deemed foolish. Our new poets are Warren Buffett, Suzy Orman and Dave Ramsey.

We have “progressed” to a point in time where we would apparently rather not take the risk of an unhappy, poor future, thus sacrificing the risk of a truly happy, rich future.

I suppose it is all in how a person defines rich and the value equated to that term.

Just try to remember, after all, it’s just paper.

It only holds the value you allow it to.

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Uncategorized

Rog: The Great & Powerful

“I don’t do things for public relations. I do things because they’re the right thing to do, because I love the game. If you want to do the popular thing, be a cheerleader.” – Roger Goodell, in 2012, to TIME

Maybe Goodell, who didn’t make a misogynistic comment at all with that line, should be a cheerleader, because he does not make a very good NFL commissioner.

Oh, certainly, Goodell fits the profile and looks the part: a strapping lawyer with blonde hair and blue eyes, well versed and tenured as an NFL employee, saying all the right things in interviews.

However, behind those steely eyes lies the mind of a egocentric, greed fueled and power hungry man who’s blinded by the bright lights and the cash cow that is his league.

It seems as though the league has gotten worse off the field since Goodell took over the reins from Paul Tagliabue in 2006. From his random, inconsistent suspensions to how naïve he pretends to be on concussion related issues, Goodell plays the brilliant fool so well, you can see how he got the job.

Goodell’s lagoodelltest bungled act was the two-game suspension of Ray Rice for his assault of his then-fiancée (now wife) last February.

After waiting for months to let it play out in the courts, Rog suspended Rice for two whole games – or two games less than recent drug violations netted other players.

Now that TMZ has done a very TMZ-like thing and leaked the elevator video for the world to see what Ray did, Goodell hides behind technicalities like not actually seeing the video himself and apologizing for misunderstanding the egregious act by Rice.

On one hand, he tells you that the NFL has been working to better understand domestic violence over the years, but apparently did not learn that you don’t interview the victim with the violator in the room, as they did with Ray and Janay Rice.

Goodell spins yarns about how the NFL just couldn’t seem to get their hands on the video from the hotel or the police, then hear from well-regarded ESPN legal analyst Lester Munson that the NFL security team is full of people with “former” titles that spent entire careers getting exactly what they want.

Goodell and the NFL did not see the video because they did not want to see the video.

The tragedy of Roger Goodell is he feigns his emotion, his pain and his condolences and then turns around and cashes the checks of millions who gobble up his league every single day.

In that same issue of TIME – the one that deemed Goodell “The Enforcer” – Goodell said that when Jovan Belcher killed his girlfriend, then himself, it was a human tragedy. But days later Belcher’s team, the Kansas City Chiefs, played their game. Goodell explained the players wanted to play, that it would be good for them.

What again about doing the right thing?

Keep cashing those checks, Roger. Or posing for those authoritative magazine covers.

The checks that go into the massive Scrooge McDuck money bank, the ones that fill your over $40 million dollar salary.

Goodell says he isn’t worried about his job. Says that he’d used to the criticism.

“Every day, I have to earn my stripes,” he says.

I just hope he doesn’t break his arm patting himself on the back for all his hard work in the areas of player safety and making the league’s players better citizens of society.

goodell-si-cover“People expect a lot from the NFL,” Goodell said this week. “We accept that. We embrace that. That’s our opportunity to make a difference, not just in the NFL but in society in general. We have that ability. We have that influence. And we have to do that. And every day, that’s what we’re going to strive to do.”

Whatever. It’s all noise now.

The simple fact is, the NFL wants your money. Nothing more, nothing less. And they know they’ll get it.

They care about the product on the field only as it pertains to enhancing the enjoyment of the event you’ve paid to see, either in person or on television.

And they could care less about the players who produce the product, unless it is a brand name like Manning or Brady, because the NFL knows that players don’t last forever and the league itself is bigger than any one player or team.

The NFL is not alone in its objective, mind you. Restaurants, hotels, car dealerships – before you get home, you’re getting buttered up in advance for your next meal, your next trip, your next new car. They liked your sweet paper and they want some more of it in the future.

If it takes a voucher to ensure you return, so be it. If it takes a measly two game suspension for beating up a woman in an elevator, fine. Goodell did what he figured would bring a little heat, but blow over long before that kickoff game in September.

This one backfired, but the next one might not. Sure, the media is clamoring for his resignation, but those billion-dollar owners, the ones he works for? They want more of that sweet paper, too. So long as it doesn’t destroy the gate receipts and TV revenues, Goodell’s job is safe.

Goodell could have and should have done more to send a larger message about domestic violence. He is right, the NFL does owe it to society at large to set an example. They have the influence to do that.

But that is not the world we live in. It sounds great in a memos to teams, but it does little to change anything. In the real world we live in, a subject of real importance that deals with how we treat one another, how we treat each gender in the roles of relationships is cut up and distributed to the masses on blogs, social media, Sports Center and talk radio.

Even when the NFL is wrong, or in a bad news cycle, it still gets the ratings and coverage it wants – lining that money bin with more paper.

Our addiction is the distraction Goodell and the NFL count on, each and every time.

Goodell has the ball, always has. He’s just been running trick plays for years, distracting us with his charm, his wits and his quotable lines of empathy.

Don’t forget: The Enforcer will protect the game, not the people.

Not even the cheerleaders.

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