In the immediate aftermath of the bombings that marred the Boston Marathon Monday, I did what many Americans did not.

I did not watch TV and get live reports. I did not check my Twitter feed incessantly. And while I prayed for the victims and for peace, I did not post videos, tributes and messages about supporting marathon runners.

I Googled Switzerland.

It was literally the first thing that came to my mind. It was as if my brain went to a default mode and wanted to be anywhere else, so what not something beautiful, neutral and serene. Thus, my fingers found the letters on the keyboard and suddenly I clicked “search” on Switzerland.

And for a brief period of time, I drifted off thinking about a country that seems to check out highly on all the appropriate categories: low crime, high income, happiness, housing and neutrality in most world affairs.

I thought about how it seems nice there, from what little I know about it. Complete with lush land, fresh springs, quaint towns and a history of being basically indifferent. Nobody messes with Switzerland because nobody thinks about them unless you’re reading the fine print upon viewing a movie that states you cannot make a copy of it.

I pictured my children running through wide open fields, with the sun basking down on their beautiful, smiling faces. I pictured my wife coming out of our historically accurate lakeside cottage telling us dinner was ready. I pictured me just returning from a day of work at some really cool company nestled into a majestic mountain ridge.

Basically, I saw us transported, just as we were, except without the fear.

That fear can be consuming; it is a fear that now lurks in the background of nearly everything we do. From going to sporting events or catching a flight, to walking past a tall building in the city or dropping off our kids at school, there is an unnatural hesitation about daily life in America.

Was it always this way? How would we know? We’re only us, unable to understand what it was like for our ancestors or past generations during their period of life in this country. I agree and enjoy this analysis by David Jones, where he essentially says America has been in worse spots historically and that we live in better times, we’re just more viscerally aware of threats of violence due to all our advancing technology.

While this most likely true and historically accurate, it somewhat negates what daily life is like with that information now. Now that we are more aware, what are we doing about it?

Today, the entire city of Boston was shut down by the manhunt for the perpetrators. Um…ever been to Boston? It’s, uh, a big city. Yeah. And residents were told to stay indoors. Transit was stopped. Without visuals, you picture some strange scene from a Michael Bay film where crumpled newspapers slowly blow through an empty downtown area.

We are paralyzed in these moments. We are paralyzed by the fear of the unknown. This is modern America, with a constant threat of foreign and domestic terror. And no, this is not over-dramatic.

Now, I hate to be a nudge, but are we supposed to just ignore all this? Is it purely a matter of getting tougher mentally and adjusting to life in our modern, American world? I ask mainly because we don’t seem to be doing very well.

Within an hour of Monday’s breaking news, each political party was finding ways to make this about sequesters and gun control and terrorism. Give it another three days; I’m sure 32- ounce soft drinks in New York City can be connected somehow.

We’ve reduced these events to either agenda talking points or punch lines. Or even worse, to justify the removal of liberties granted to us that make us uniquely American. Or, we’re just going to use it as an excuse to fight terror abroad.

Violence simply bringing more violence, in turn simply causing a greater sense of fear. And when people are scared, they will do anything to feel safe. Like give up their right to bear arms, or allow an ever-increasing society of security to become even more searched, scanned and patted down. We’re listening to people who couldn’t protect us before tell us how they plan to protect us now.

Maybe that is too much to ask, too great a burden to place. What is safety and security but a state of mind?

Our state of mind is constantly chaotic, full of information overload, complete with the graphic pictures, eyewitness accounts, news tickers, false reporting and numerous sources.

Here we are, glued and transfixed by the events – yet this information that is so readily available to us seems, well, developing. In a rush to be first, the networks are getting it wrong. Names, connections, the details – you know – the actual news.

At one point, one network featured commentators arguing over whether or not the suspects could be described as American, based on the grainy photos. We’re a melting pot, so how would you even begin to describe what an American looks like? See the problem?

A case can be made that these are indeed more trying times than at any point in human history. Is this a sign? Because these events are so horrifying, so unpredictable and nearly unspeakable, it could be seen as the beginnings of something much more. And that is simply because we live in a world of terrorism.

Terror doesn’t show decorum. There are no rules of war.

It’s difficult to place and compartmentalize these events, harder still to use logic and rationale. It is our inability to directly relate ourselves to random attacks that has us troubled as a society in general. In any situation, it’s safe to say that if that wasn’t us, it certainly could have been.

We’ve ran races or stood and watched family and friends. We send our children to school. We fly planes and work in large buildings. The events of the last decade-plus are worse than they were a hundred years ago simply because of the context in which they are occurring: everyday life. It’s not a war zone or on some predetermined battlefield where both sides are armed, with trained combat units, camouflage, guns and generals with battle plans.

The attacked are not forewarned. That’s why it’s called terror, because it truly is terrifying and unexpected. There is no time to prepare. The simple fact that while evil has always existed in this world, along with the good, both will find ways to achieve their goals, and this recent (in the context of history) development of terrorizing random people accomplishes more physical and psychological damage than we can probably even comprehend.

Which is what leads a person to go numb now, to draw a blank, in moments like Monday’s marathon bombing.

It is what leads a person as patriotic as me, someone who believes in and loves America and its history, to momentarily question my citizenship for the sake of my family, and the sake of my sanity.

And that’s when it hits you: when did the citizens of the world’s symbol of freedom reach a point where they would contemplate such a thing? Is it the political and social division? Is it the growing skepticism of government? Is it the loss of liberties and freedoms? Is it the taxes? Is it the continued loss of social normalcy and decorum?

This list could go on. Frankly, I’m just tired of thinking about it all, what it means and experiencing so many emotions around what this new world of fear looks and feels like. I just want to get to neutral, be peaceful and serene and eliminate the fear, for my family and for me.

Which is how you get to the point you are staring at a computer screen and typing in letters that spell out what feels like something safe.

Switzerland.