American culture, Chip Kelly, fired NFL coaches, gossip, Hollywood, Philadelphia Eagles, Star Wars, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Uncategorized

Perceived Perfection

Two thousand sixteen.

We have arrived in this, the future, and it by all accounts resembles the recent past. In some cases, it might even resemble a distant past, too.

As a society, we seem to be tempered in our expectations of what we can accomplish because we see firsthand what we have been unable to accomplish to this point, all the while unaware of the fact we very much hand a part to play in what was unaccomplished all along.

So much displeasure going on all around us. So much lamenting. So much longing for the future, too busy to enjoy the present. A present which will become the past that we will begin to long for.

Ironic.

After all, what kind of malcontents would be if we didn’t endlessly hype how excited we were to be taken back to a galaxy far, far away in film, doll out a collective $1.7 billion in three weeks to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens, only to turn right around and bash it as “unimaginative” and whine about the former film prodigy J.J. Abrams’ lack of originality?

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We beg – no, demand – updated classics, then complain when it’s too retro? We want retro Jordan’s and then complain that they are either too identical or not similar enough. Didn’t we skewer Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for being not enough like the other Indy movies?

I can’t keep up. No one, pardon the pun, forced you to see that movie.

The same as no one forced George Lucas to sell the Lucasfilm and Star Wars galaxy for $4 billion to Disney. Those “white slavers” as he calls them.

Didn’t Lucas create Jar-Jar Binks?

Uh, I’ll just leave that out there, Mr. Lucas.

But Lucas is simply much the same as the rest of us in the modern age: immediately regretful of what we no longer have, though we didn’t treat it all that well when we had it and unable to move on to something else until we’ve sufficiently trashed it.

Sadly, the rest of us don’t have the $4 billion to ease the burden of negativity. Careful, George; remember what that path of anger and resentment can lead to?

But there’s another, deeper, more sinister than Sith reason we turned so quickly on Star Wars: The Force Awakens: snark.

The snark is all around us. Our snide remarks are becoming our only remarks as we remove ourselves more and more from the actual world to engaging with the vast majority of people electronically.

Would you really type half of what you do if you were to see the person in a hallway?

And how often has pressure from others led you to comment or fire off at the fingertips that which you wouldn’t have said previously?

Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie called Chip Kelly a culture-builder, an excellent coach, someone he liked and respected and someone who didn’t need to prove anything to anyone just four months ago, in September 2015.

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Last week, Lurie couldn’t fire Kelly fast enough, leaked false info to the press about it, and generally smeared him for 48 straight hours.

Why?

The nameless, faceless social media mobs in full snark attack mode, pushed Lurie – who gave Andy Reid 14 years on the job until hiring Kelly – to do the exact opposite of what he said.

We’re all engaged in social media in some way, yet we’re terrified of it at the same time.

We hate to scroll through the feeds and see nearly 75 percent of what we are subjected to see, but addicted to the habit or the “information” we think we’re getting.

We don’t want to put it down, but we can’t put it up.

For every viral post about a child who had their wish fulfilled or someone doing a good deed for someone, there are 4,553 posts of selfies, quizzes and generally everyone complaining about something.

Better still: a good deed has to go “viral” to get the proper attention for it. Remember, if it is not on social media, it didn’t happen right?

Then again, there’s plenty of jibberish that passes through social media that does not pass the sniff test. Take the endless election cycle, for instance.

I’m not sure what I think about any of the 2016 presidential candidates because of the sensory overload I’ve experienced during the start of the campaign season.

And because I have no idea what they actually want to do through some combination of overexposure and underexposure, I feel completely unprepared to vote in six months, even though my state will vote too late for the primary to actually matter.

There’s both sincerity and sarcasm in that last paragraph. Sadly.

The truth is, I somewhat pity these folks. True, they make these boneheaded mistakes themselves, only to nosedive in polls that I thought everyone agreed three years ago didn’t really matter, but still.

If we thought the era of social media and treading and mea culpas had reached it’s pinnacle, think again. We’re roasting these candidates on the open fire of social media.

You step into the world of snark, you best come ready. Not many survive. And unfortunately, these candidates can’t play it cool like the rest of us: chilling on the sidelines, sharing only what we want to share, what we assume the online world wants to see from us: perceived perfection.

It is what we strive for now, perception. It can be any different types. We can become anything we want online, through our Insta-feeds, Twitter bios and Facebook posts.

We can be funny, we can be mysterious. We can be brooding, we can be political. We can be fit, we can be alcoholics. We can be vain, caring, jet-setters and turbulent.

I am sure it is not that cut and dry. I am certainly guilty of it, too. You can click through status updates and pictures of my five children, my wife and myself and you’d get a bunch of pearly whites and smiles at the intersection of Constant Fun and Perfect Family.

We are only perfect for us, folks. And some days, my neurosis leads me to wonder if I’m even perfect for them that day. We get angry. We cry. We lose our temper when the milk is spilled for the thirtieth time in 12 days.

You might like us for an afternoon or weekend, but we would get on your nerves, I swear. And likewise, I bet you would get on ours, too.

We’re all looking around at each other like we have got it together, but in reality, we are running our day-to-day lives more like the Cleveland Browns than the New England Patriots.

But apparently, life just looks better with a filter.

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Of course it does. Any sunset with palm trees and beaches looks enviable.

If it is your daily life that could use some contrast, sharpness, color and filter adjusted, consider being more social and less media.

Personally, my goal  in 2016 is to be a bit more transparent, to be more positive in my day-to-day life, less anxious and neurotic, and do my best to enjoy the present moment, unfiltered.

Plus, I have got to pay more attention to this presidential election thing.

I still don’t know what they stand for.

The polls say that’s not good, considering my gender, party affiliation, race, breakfast intake, height, income and inclination to watch Friends re-runs with my wife on Netflix.

 

 

 

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Bernie Fine, ESPN, gossip, Jerry Sandusky

The Era of Innuendo

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day of giving thanks for all that we have in remembrance of that very special day long ago when the Pilgrims feasted with the Indians in celebration of the first harvest.
Makes you all warm and fuzzy, to be sure.
Except that day is tomorrow.
Today, I’m not feeling so thankful. In fact, it’s more of a general repulsion.
There’s so much to not be thankful for in the world at this moment. Because we don’t specialize in turkey and stuffing or pumpkin pie. No, sir. We serve up hot and salacious gossip like a master chef. And at this very moment, we’re unfortunately perfecting our craft.
We can’t be thankful for is the sick and perverted folks who’ve enabled Jerry Sandusky and enabled this Penn State scandal. It’s disturbing and we have a long way to go as a society.
Additionally, I’m not thankful for ESPN and their never ending quest to create news. On the flip side of the Sandusky scandal at Penn State, we’ve got the Bernie Fine situation at Syracuse. The following comments are not to exonerate Fine, as I have no idea what happened or what is true.
But something smells fishy.
On the heels of Penn State and a scandal that was a decade in the making, with grand jury investigations and multiple eyewitnesses comes an ESPN report about Fine a week later based on two step-siblings claims. No one has corroborated their story. But now Fine is on leave, the water is boiling hot in Syracuse and all over the nation, people have already passed judgment on Fine based on the raw emotion left in the wake of the Sandusky scandal.
What’s more, many were critical of ESPN being slow to react to the Penn State scandal a few weeks ago. So how do they respond? They crank up their journalistic prowess and go searching for a similar story. Never mind the skeletons in their own closet that have existed on the internet regarding the highly questionable morals of their on-air talents.
Running the Fine story so close to the Sandusky one wreaks of ratings desperation during sweeps month. The facts weren’t in and still aren’t. But public perception is in because of the timing. People are still queasy over Sandusky and Penn State, so the natural reaction is disgust with Fine and Syracuse.
The Worldwide Leader In Sports, along with CNN, MSNBC and Fox News, is at the forefront of an era in which the line between truth and rumor is so blurred, you’d think it had been on a drinking binge for three days.
The sports headlines have been rolling like this for years: Magic has AIDS because he is gay! Jordan is a compulsive gambler whose father was murdered because of gambling debts! Kobe is a rapist! Tiger sleeps with prostitutes! Bob Knight hits his players! Erin Andrews was filmed naked in her hotel room and dated Tim Tebow!
Some turned out to be true, some were vaguely and partially true and some were just downright made up.
But we don’t care about what it turned out to be. We don’t blame whoever first inaccurately reported it. We just want the dirt. The details. We want to know who’s cheating who. We have to find out who’s genitals were sent by text message and what Ashton Kutcher told his one night stand.
There’s a little Hollywood, OK! Magazine, checkout line gossip mag in all of us.
And is this what we strive to be? Both as a country and as journalists? It would appear to be that way. And if it appears that way, then it’s the truth, right?
We’ve turned into a nation of gossip rags. Salacious rumors are the currency of the day and we’re all getting rich in this regard. We may be morally bankrupt, but wealthy in what counts the most, baby: information!
Sometimes, the truth does need to be revealed – when it’s actually true. People need to be unmasked when what’s underneath isn’t the perfect image portrayed by their own doing, to the public.
But what happens if we ruin a person’s life? Do we even care? You can’t get that back. Some things never come back – like faith and trust. If you accuse your spouse of cheating and they are not, it’s over. The trust you have with each other is gone and it probably won’t be coming back, at least never in the same way it was before.  
Again, the facts aren’t all in yet. Bernie Fine could turn out to be just as grotesque as Jerry Sandusky. Or he could be exonerated. Or somewhere in the middle. We don’t know right now. And that’s the point. We shouldn’t be spreading rumors for the sake of screaming, “First! We reported it first!”
The facts and details in these two stories, despite the same fundamental premise, are vastly different. And the sheer reality that those details are being pushed to the side isn’t just bothersome that we do this, it’s blatantly troublesome.  
The underlying theme here is simple: we don’t just report; we tell stories. We don’t just respond, we overreact. We are ruthless savages.
And then we push repeat 1,224 times until it’s been driven so far into our psyche that we believe it to be true.
You hear something enough, it becomes fact. And maybe we’ve been like this since the beginning of time.
For example, as mentioned at the start of this blog, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. We celebrate a historic day when European Pilgrims sat down with Native Americans and ate together to celebrate the first harvest and a growing partnership.
At least that’s what we’ve been told. It’s certainly what we celebrate.
What we know the truth to be is that the Pilgrims in Plymouth didn’t have enough food to feed themselves and relied on the Wampanoag Native Americans to provide them seeds and teach them to fish before that celebration in 1621.
Roughly four months later, hundreds of miles away in Virginia, Indians there massacred nearly 400 settlers.
Wait…what? Why?
Had our news cycle raged on back then, there would have been an massive public outcry. “But we just had Thanksgiving with them! How could they murder our people and treat us like that? Who do they think they are?!
Certainly, our news cycle and current standards would have failed to mention that decades before, natives had be more than happy to trade with the colonists, but by the early 1600s, colonists had earned reputations as, well, savages. 
Without this knowledge, may be we would have isolated Native Americans, burned down their homes and destroyed their food supplies. Perhaps we would have tried to take over their land, put them in colonies and converted them to a different religion.
And by beating the public over the head with the images of the massacre and leaving out the reasons why it happened, we would have easily been able to accomplish this. 
But thank goodness the full truth came out and people we are able to see how early settlers treatment of the Indians had provoked the attack and we didn’t do anything rash in response.
Wait…what’s that you say? Oh, you mean we did do all that stuff anyway without the media to provoke us?
You see, it’s all about perspective and perception. And it’s a battle this country lost long ago. We’re easily manipulated, easily convinced of what is the truth and shamelessly obsessed with controlling perception and turning it into a coalition.
Tomorrow I will gather around the table with family and friends and be thankful that I have food on the table. I will be thankful of our freedom and those who protect it.
But today I remain bothered by what we are and what we’ve become.
And I will remain troubled that gossip will always be the hottest dish we serve – and the one we gorge ourselves on the most.
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