It is difficult to identify when it all began. Was it a slow progression, or just a band-aid like effect? Were we intentional about it, or was it just a subconscious social switch?

Whatever the case may be, we have become weak as individuals, which make us weak as a society.

I think I’ve noticed signs for some time, but the biggest was when several, if not all, of our surrounding communities postponed Halloween trick-or-treating this year due to an expected heavy rain storm.

While this is not intended to be a political statement or commentary on the towns and cities that made the decision, it is what it is. I’m certain the town and city councils or members of governing bodies who make such decisions did their due diligence and determined it was best for the children to stay out of the elements.

So this conjecture I have about weakness is not based just off one incident, yet instead serves as a microcosm of a bigger argument.

My wife and I looked at each other just downright confused. We waxed nostalgic about how “back in my day” we’d have put on a coat and got ourselves some candy. I’ve worn a mask in 80-degree heat and gone trick-or-treating with a winter coat due to flurries.

There are other indications, too. The helmets, knee pads, thigh pads, elbow guards and mouthpieces children are now recommended to wear riding a bicycle is a good one. Yeah, uh, I learned to ride my bike in the country. We had a gravel road and no concrete. Needless to say, I bled.

And my father, as kind as he is and was, looked at me and simply said, “How bad do you want to learn to ride that bike?” His point: it’s going to take some effort and some education.

My first basketball court was on dirt. The ball went through the basket and hit the ground – and pretty much stayed there. You had to pound the rock to dribble more than twice. And with enough use, the dirt court became a clay court.

How bad do you want it?

We drink water from bottles, which is still somewhat absurd and probably will be to me forever. We use gallons of sanitizer to protect us from spreading germs, but we seem to be sicker, longer, with a common cold than we used to be.

As a father of four, I certainly wanted people to wash their hands before holding my child as a baby. And I’m not so tough that a good Disney themed band-aid isn’t useful when it’s actually unnecessary. Like, there’s not even a scratch there unnecessary.

But aren’t we taking it all a bit too far? It seems strange considering we’re regressing in so many other areas – like general decency and kindness – but we’ve coddled ourselves and our children to the brink of crippling ourselves, and worst of all – them.

My wife and I play with our kids a lot, but we also tend to kind of let them go. Short of intruding on someone’s personal space or property, I’d prefer to let them learn and imagine. And, if it happens, get a little bump now and then.

Because that’s life.

It’s not all giggles and sunshine and 15 popsicles in an hour. They are going to get hurt in some sort of fashion and I don’t want them reacting thinking that the world has ended if they do.

We’ve made strides that will help them learn from our mistakes. Concussion testing, disease prevention, merging biology and technology, education and new information about the way children learn and what they learn are all moving us forward to a new age and one filled with opportunities.

But on the opposite side, we’re quickly ripping those opportunities away with over-protection. I want them protected and safe at school, at airports, in the home. I don’t want them terrified of engaging in life and trying new things.

It’s a delicate balance that we constantly struggle with. Do we hold them and tell them it will be alright? Or do we look at them and tell them to get up and get moving again? Studies have indicated that we should probably be doing more of the latter.

College-age students are increasingly showing signs of social anxiety – most likely (and this is an assumption) tied to coddling and to the increased use of texting and social media as the main channel for which relationships are formed or maintained.

This protection comes from wanting the best for our children, no doubt. To have it better than we did. But the graph doesn’t just go up for quality of life because time passes and we enter new decades or that the present is what we once thought of the future. We’re operating under the assumption that everything is continuously improving.

That’s just not the case. There may be more and more of everything available to us, but it cannot replace or duplicate simple values, rules and ethics that are basically self-taught.

No matter how much pain or discomfort there is, parents cannot go to a middle school dance and make everyone be nice. They can’t be there on the playground during recess. They cannot be on the field of play. And they can’t be there when a job becomes stressful or you’re working to find balance between family and a job.

It’s called growing up for a reason: it implies that you are moving upward, which is a universal sign of increasing something. In the general context, it’s education. It’s maturity. It’s becoming aware of what is socially acceptable, of the unwritten rules of our culture. It’s find out what the individual values are and how they relate to the community values around them.

And it doesn’t stop. It continues well past the age of 18 or 25. We are always learning and re-evaluating and re-applying until the very end of life. There is no manual, no how-to. Only opinion.

Which is why I’ve formed this one: we are unaware of the fact that we are becoming weaker. We don’t want the right things bad enough to risk failing or damage. We only see the possible pain – not the growth that comes after that moment or what we will learn about ourselves in either succeeding or failing.

Yoda was right. Do or do not. There is no try. The problem is, we are reaching a point where we don’t even try. We just expect someone to give it to us or to help us – we’re teaching ourselves and our children to work the systems to benefit them at every angle.

And yes, in some ways, this ties back to moving a holiday because the weather was a little wet, windy and cool.

Worried about catching a cold? Put on a coat. Frantic about a test? Study for it. Nervous about what someone might say? Ask.

There’s an old saying about prevent defense in football – it prevents you from winning. As a country, our culture has shifted into a prevent defense mode. If all the elements aren’t lined up and perfect, we pull back.

We are preventing ourselves from winning the game of life. We are preventing our children from accomplishing all the things we dream of and for them, setting up so many guardrails and safety nets that there’s little risk.

But the greater the risk, the greater the reward. Better still, the better the character and resolve.

Sometimes, the only road to ride on is gravel and you don’t have a helmet.

How bad do you want it?